Monday, October 12, 2009


Well, he gets it honestly!!!!

Want to know what I'm talking about?

My Peyton...sad to say (or good if you ask me), but he has gotten my perfectionism gene!!!

I got a call from his teacher on Monday saying that for the first time this year, he was not being sent home with a "Super Star" next to his name. He got an "OK." She said he cried and cried and cried...she said he was upset because now he didn't have all "Super Stars." She told him everyday wasn't going to be perfect. Ha...and there we go... she said the "perfect" word. I started laughing...I didn't mean to laugh. I swear.

After this, Mrs. Melin then told me that at our parent/teacher conference she wanted to talk to us about the fact that Peyton is a "perfectionist." There it is. She said it. P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N-I-S-T! I started laughing again. Sorry. She said he likes to do EVERYTHING perfectly...Again, the laugh started.

I was laughing because until now, I hadn't really seen how much my child has been listening to me...OMG...I have totally rubbed off on my child in a not so great way. I have stressed out my 1st grader. MY 1ST GRADER...

He hears me say it all the time. "Peyton, your letters need to be perfect." "Peyton, your spelling test needs to be perfect." "Peyton, your room needs to be perfect. The way Mommy would clean it." "Peyton, if it's not perfect, you'll have to re-do it." WHAT KIND OF MOM AM I??!!

WOW...a real wake-up call! I know it, everybody knows it...I'M A PERFECTIONIST TO NO END! I just didn't know how much this was affecting my children!

So, what did I do to try to fix this? Well...when I went to pick him up from school. I thought I would find this heart-broken little boy begging me to forgive him for his imperfection...NOPE! NOT WHAT I FOUND! He was MAD (ok, so he gets this from me too). He was mad that he hadn't been able to explain to the teacher that he didn't know to do what he didn't do...which is why he got in trouble. He was mad because she wouldn't listen to him (ok, so he gets this one too). he wasn't upset about the "not being perfect" thing...Ok, I haven't damaged him too much I thought!

Hearing my child say all of this was a WAKE.UP.CALL. Have I put too much pressure on him? Do I expect too much? Does that make me a bad mom or a good mom? Do I expect my child to live up to my expectations...of course I do! Do I expect him to try hard...of course I do! Do I expect him to behave...of course I do! Do I expect him to follow instructions exactly as they are given...of course I do. What is wrong with this? Well, probably nothing. BUT, it did make me realize that I need to back off a little. A LITTLE, not a lot.

So, we had a talk...everyday will not be perfect. He won't always get a "Super Star." He won't always get the correct answers...and that is ok, as long as he tries hard and learns from his mistakes! We also re-structured the "Report Card" plan. The original plan was ALL Es = $20 -- PERFECTIONISM was being rewarded. An S = Nothing. Now, it's $3 for every E...Nothing for an S...he gets something even if he's not perfect!!!

Moral of the Story...even though I try to be a perfect Mom, I'm not. I make mistakes and so do my children. That's ok. As long as we learn from it and don't do it again. I need to back off...a little!

TRULY BLESSED to know that my favorite firstborn is already a smart, intelligent, hard-working little man. So proud! So proud!

PS...He's so smart the teacher said we didn't need to have a parent/teacher conference...YAY (but the perfectionist in me has requested one anyway)!